Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we always do two-man Halloween costumes. This year we’re going as a centaur! (We’re both the man part.)
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner 2025-10-30 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
When I was a kid, I didn't read comics with any sort of regularity. Random issues midway through runs of series I'd never heard of would simply materialize periodically in unsorted piles, brought home by a parent who presumably purchased them at some kind of bulk comics store specializing in remaindered copies of overprinted and underselling Image titles.
To this day, I hav...
2025-10-29 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View PostThe Dogg Zzone welcomes Dimitri Simakis from Everything Is Terrible for another Hot Dog origin story! Come learn how a pitcher of rapping sugar water led to the creation of the world's largest collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes!
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Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking....
2025-10-29 11:59:01 +0000 UTC View PostWe're huntin' ladies with Dimitri Simakis! Don't worry, no ladies will be harmed in the making of this episode. None of this advice will ever work.
2025-10-29 11:58:00 +0000 UTC View PostThe Dogg Zzone welcomes Dimitri Simakis from Everything Is Terrible for another Hot Dog origin story! Come learn how a pitcher of rapping sugar water led to the creation of the world's largest collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes!
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Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what ...
2025-10-29 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Happy Curse Day! I’m dicked.
I’ve antagonized each corner of the coven, and it’s one of those horror shapes with infinite angles. You know, a circle. This Halloween, I’m not worried about curses. They can use fists. I’m one guy, and mortal jumping’s on the table. My future’s endless Doc Marten’s to the ribs, and I burned that kink out in undergrad.
Luc...
2025-10-28 12:00:21 +0000 UTC View Post
How often do you think about scarves? Stop. Don't answer that. I can tell you right now, it's not enough. It's recently come to my attention that scarves are the most important thing. The secret meaning of life can't be found in art, family, or a game of basketball against the Looney Tunes, like we all thought. I'm pretty sure happiness is scarves. Look at the ecstasy that a simp...
2025-10-27 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
October! Spooky! Ok, I know there is still a week left of October, but here’s the thing. I drew a bunch of spooky achromatic stuff for you this month and if I release it in November, it’s gonna look stupid. I don’t want that, and some of you probably don’t want that. But before we get into the podcasts and all of that, let’s see what delightful scares our writers freely...
2025-10-26 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View PostOH SHIT NEW PRODUCT ALERT, WE’VE DONE IT AGAIN!
That’s right, once again we’ve invented a completely new type of product. Remember when we introduced “posters” as shirts for your walls? You all loved it! You wrote me letters sent to my personal address which, while terrifying, were very supportive. The Hot Dog Laboratory (a thing we’ve totally always had and not something I made up two-hundred and eleven energy drinks deep into my 59th hour awake) does no...
2025-10-25 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Growing up with broke parents meant two things: I was only hit with low quality pleather belts and most of our VHS tapes were copies of copies of copies that someone else recorded off of television. Most of these were pagan Christmas specials and 2025-10-24 12:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
A few months back, I celebrated Pride Month with an appreciation piece about the Burt Reynolds sitcom Evening Shade, for showcasing basic human decency around trans issues.
So: you've died in Canada. And as the famous saying goes, when you die in Canada, you die in real life, bud. There are plenty of dignified ways to go in the Great White North: crushed by moose, run down by zamboni, cut in half by Shania Twain. And then there are the deaths so specific, so embarrassing, that we never thought we'd have to warn people against them.
The original Rock 'n' Roll High School was a fun punk rock classic. The sequel is a Corey Feldman musical. It's the farthest human art has fallen in the least amount of time, and fucking Zak Koonce insisted we watch it.
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Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NO...
2025-10-22 11:59:06 +0000 UTC View PostIt's a good ol' fashioned Quaid-eatin' contest with your boy, Zak Koonce!
2025-10-22 11:58:02 +0000 UTC View PostThe original Rock 'n' Roll High School was a fun punk rock classic. The sequel is a Corey Feldman musical. It's the farthest human art has fallen in the least amount of time, and fucking Zak Koonce insisted we watch it.
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Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinki...
2025-10-22 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Earth might be round. I don’t tell new friends, it tends to throw off the tone. No point feeding the “preachy Rounder” stereotype. But when I’ve known someone long enough to bond over shared hatreds, I let the round Earth slip. And wait.
Some people shut down. They deflect back to safe topics, like leeches curing deviance. Then slowly but surely disappear over the d...
2025-10-21 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
You know the king of cult films, Roger Corman, ok, so he had a younger brother who was sort of the court jester of cult films. He wanted to make cheap films as quickly and dangerously as possible, which makes Beast From Haunted Cave his biggest success. They shot it in 13 days, nearly suffocated a bunch of actors in a cave, and the final product is actually kind of dop...
2025-10-20 12:00:17 +0000 UTC View PostThere’s only one crew in town that can strengthen the Appalachian Honmoon, but you ain’t gonna like the way they do it.
You wanna get wild? Okay, I’ll show you wild.
Available right now in our store in a variety of colors and sizes, the hit internet streaming series th...
2025-10-20 11:59:01 +0000 UTC View PostIn this episode, the AIMS Team loses fights against: A cornfield, half of a house, the concept of triangles, a little boy with a bicycle bell, continuity, their new staff writer, the ghosts of dog-eaten children, adolescent trauma, and Willy's aborted chicken coop. It's the best show ever made.
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Robert will go to jail if you don't bu...
2025-10-20 11:58:02 +0000 UTC View PostIn this episode, the AIMS Team loses fights against: A cornfield, half of a house, the concept of triangles, a little boy with a bicycle bell, continuity, their new staff writer, the ghosts of dog-eaten children, adolescent trauma, and Willy's aborted chicken coop. It's the best show ever made.
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Robert will go to jail ...
2025-10-20 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View PostBe the manimal, little person toy genius, or speedboat wrestler you want to see in the world.
THERE IS A CRISIS! ON INFINITE BERKS! THAT IS SO MANY BERKS!
Behold the many crisiseseees. Unimaginable! But lo, it has been imagined, and 2025-10-18 18:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
The year was 1995 and we thought we knew how to fuck.
We were wrong. Lubricate your yoni and look through the keyhole of Paul "Ramana Das" Silbey, D.D. and his second wife, Marilena.
Back before fun was invented, one of the most popular video game franchises was Zork. I’m going off the assumption that not everyone knows this because it’s 2025 and I’m no longer in a position to believe my finger is on the pulse of the culture. Actually, scratch that. I’ve never been in a position to believe my finger was on the pulse of the culture. I didn’t...
2025-10-16 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Paradise Lost, plus Reboot, minus Paradise Lost. I love this dead planet.
2025-10-15 12:00:17 +0000 UTC
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Back in the 1990s we briefly mistook elaborate prosthetics for comedy. That's how we got The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys, a Howie Mandel production starring three suffocating improv comedians dying inside defective sex toys. Michael Swaim will explain how they influenced the course of his entire life. Presumably for the worse. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------...
2025-10-15 11:59:00 +0000 UTC View PostIf you're deficient in cute puns and dying from a lack of hunky buns, this game of Tidbits with Michael Swaim might keep you alive long enough to get the medical attention you need.
2025-10-15 11:58:01 +0000 UTC View PostBack in the 1990s we briefly mistook elaborate prosthetics for comedy. That's how we got The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys, a Howie Mandel production starring three suffocating improv comedians dying inside defective sex toys. Michael Swaim will explain how they influenced the course of his entire life. Presumably for the worse. ------------------------------------------------------------------...
2025-10-15 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View Post
It used to be that you couldn't gamble on your phone while jacking off and smoking weed. You used to have to go places to do things in America: a casino, the adult bookstore, your weird dealer's house where you don't know how long you're supposed to hang out with him to be polite. We've become a soft nation, addicted to the full spectrum of sinful pleasures which are imm...
2025-10-14 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
As the only certified alpha male at this website, it’s my responsibility to talk to you about yankin' your hog until it bigger. This is science. I know you probably have a lot of questions. Is the growth exponential? Could you have a body builder penis? Could your 50-foot penis attack downtown San Francisco? Let’s find out together that the answer is yes.
It’s almost time to buy Christmas presents. Or holiday presents or whatever. It’s shopping season, that means you need to collect them all! There are two.
This week I’m talkin about 1900HOTDOG HOT DOG PAIL KIDS!
Available right now in our store in a variety of colors a...
2025-10-11 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
